Supernaturally change me, change me, change…

Readers  (and, yes, people actually read this jumble of crazy) have asked me to explain what it’s like being made into an action figure. I’ve put it off for a while, but Comic-Con is over. News gets a little slow. It’s time.

Part of this I posted in a previous blog. I hired a make-up and hair person. I’ll affectionately call this person Helena Handbasquiat. Apparently San Francisco’s Pride Festival isn’t the best time to hire someone for this type of job. Helena Handbasquiat, showed up really early (she probably hadn’t been to bed yet — to be honest) to put on my slap (that’s theatre for make-up) and attempt to do something with the mangle of hair and weave I have on my head. (No, I don’t actually have a Shatner Turbo, it’s just a joke.)

I think that this was the first time she had ever (tried) to do masculine make-up on a man. Hey, even I was befuddled. I’m just happy she didn’t come at me with the weird eyelash squishing things women use. They give me nightmares.

Eventually time ran out, and I was lucky to get out of there alive.

The photo session was the very last thing at the end of the tour, and they need to shoot from multiple angles. I was terrified. In the past three years I’ve lost enough weight to basically build another person. I had considered having surgery before the trip, but, well, it’s expensive and it hurts. Don’t let Nip/Tuck fool ya. So I’m jutting out my chin a bit, and doing all the things I’d learned from power-watching America’s Next Top Model and Make Me a Supermodel. (I think I lingered over Make Me a Supermodel a little too much because of their bromance plotline.) I thought about calling my personal style and fashion icon, Naomi Campbell, but I think she was in court for beating up a flight crew or pretty much anyone she wants. She’s Naomi Campbell. She can do that.

So the inimitable Paula set me at ease a bit. (She’s one of those people who is so "up" and cheerful that I wonder what her doctor’s prescribing that I’m not getting? Curse those HIPPA laws!)

Right profile. Left profile. Up. Down. They had to stand on something to get a shot from overhead. (I admit, my hair is big enough to require its own accessory, but I’m from the South. I grew up on Elvis, and I’m a Morrissey fan. The higher the hair, the closer to G*d, as we say.) Pretty much everything has to be documented from the neck up. I’m sure a few readers wouldn’t mind this, but I’m camera shy. I think my partner and I only have four pictures of the two of us together after 12 years.

I have to commend Paula from LFL because she snapped excellent shots, and made me look better than I thought I would. (Or maybe ILM fixed them?)

I had to pick an existing body to be, well, me. I chose Darth Nihilus, and my friend Doug made a mock-up using the fantastic "Darth Morrissey" head. I also asked Hasbro for a lavender double lightsaber (like Asajj Ventress or Maris Brood). If you read the blog, you’ll get it.

Just to give Hasbro a little more reference, I created a gallery of me including some more casual shots. (No, I never keep the same hair color for long, but I doubt Hasbro has perfected rapid-hair-color-change technology (yet).

Finally the last part was to make up a montage of photos over the years. (Yes, I wore black t-shirts as a toddler, but you’ll also see me rockin’ my Boba Fett Underoos t-shirt.) There’s even a shot of me acting as commando bartender at the Stonewall Inn in New York City. No, I’m not directly linking that one. I even offered to fly up to Hasbro HQ if they’d like some live reference, but I think they said something about kids and candy stores or hands and cookies jars. Who can blame them?

Now my fate is in the hands of Hasbro’s sculpting masters (and I believe the lead sculptor) out there in Rhode Island. (If you went to Celebration 2, you probably saw him in action as he put on a demonstration for us obsessive collecting types.)

So for those of you who ask and those of you who ask about its progress, there you have it. (I’m not going to rush a guy who’s trying to make me look cool in toy form.)

Of course what would I be if I didn’t shamelessly self-promote? From a few Q&A sessions back:

Galactic Hunter: I hear there’s a figure in the likeness of Adam May being developed next week. What are the odds that it could be mass released?

HASBRO: He won’t be mass-released.

It never hurts to ask, right?

6 Responses to “Supernaturally change me, change me, change…”

  1. palps45895 Says:

    Where can we start a petition to get a mass-release of Adam’s figure? If we get the Ice Cream Guy, we can get Adam…

  2. Adam_May Says:

    LOL… thanks, but I doubt anyone wants a figure that is my head plonked on the Darth Nihilus body, and I think my hair is too big for an Imperial (or Rebel) tech. Sideburns? Got those covered.

  3. shoeless_jedi Says:

    Hasbro’s always doing silly things in the interest of saving money and tooling, etc.  Well if they’re going through all the trouble to make your head, why NOT reuse it for a human head swap somewhere along the line?  They can always hide your hair under a hat or helmet ;)   Unless you don’t want it, I say they should go for it.  They can throw a "Fan’s Choice"-like sticker on it but it’d be "Fan’s Face"!  At the very least, I think there are some Galactichunter powers-that-be that oughta lobby to see your mug make its way into the next EE Exclusive, whatever it may be!

  4. wyldaxe Says:

    I tell ya, you are one lucky so-of-a-gun. I’d kill to have a figure (or in the case of Gentle Giant, a bust) made with my likness. I might have to put a bag over it’s head so I don’t have to look at myself everytime I see it (), but I’d still love to have one done. Keep us updated Adam. I know many of us are looking forward to seeing the final product. (maybe Hasbro could make just a few extras and do a contest for them, "Enter to win an ULTRA Exclusive Adam May figure!!!")

  5. Adam_May Says:

    Well, it would be a good start for an Ackmena figure. Just find a figure with a beehive…

  6. tarcanes92 Says:

    There is your mistake.  You should have worn a Bea Arthur mask during your photoshoot and then had them place the head on a female body.  Instant Ackmena figure.  LOL

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